Fucking Assholes!
I forgot to mention something in the last entry. I AM NOW A FREE WOMAN (who has the closure that she’s been seeking for so long.) The ex was supposed to come down last week Saturday to pick up the rest of his stuff from my apartment. (Okay, we’ll recap.)
I’ve been broken up with him since last April but was his friend with benefit till July. We got into a huge blow out in July because I was moving, he was supposed to help, hurt himself on the job but still wanted to come to my apartment (can you guess for what?) When I told him not to, he wanted to know why, and I said it was because I wanted to move. What was he going to do? Watch me move stuff and pack stuff? No. So, huge blow out, didn’t talk for months. December rolls around, he said he’d maybe have a chance to come get his stuff, but maybe not. So, just let it roll of my back, right? Fine. January hits the calendar, and I call him to say, “When can you come and get your stuff?” - thinking that I’ve been holding on to it since July, right? (I even packed it up from my old apartment, moved to my new apartment and still had the shit in my house.) So, last week Monday he says, “Oh, I can get it this Saturday. I’ll be there at noon.” Okay. Fine. Wednesday rolls around and I get another phone call and message: “I have to push back the time till about 5pm. I have this church thing that I want to be part of.” Okay, fine…the plan is that he’s still coming down to get his crap and I’ll still get the closure I want so badly. Friday night at 6pm, he calls to say that he’s canceling the entire thing. So I call back and leave a message: Call me. We have to talk.
He calls me back when I’m at Rob and Ka`ai’s so I’m not going to talk to him when I’m with them. So I don’t pick up. He calls again, when it’s about 11pm and I’m just getting home. He says, “What’s up?” I say, “You tell me.” He says, “You said to give you a call.” I say, “Yeah, why are you canceling?” Thinking that, maybe, he’s got to work or some bullshit like that. He says, “My friends are having a birthday party on Saturday and I gave them my word that I’d be there.” WHAT? YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! So I say, “Oh, you said you’d be there when you already told me that you were going to be here?” Sorry, did I just wake up in a parallel universe where you can be in two places at once? Yeah. I didn’t think so. So, we get into a fight where his biggest argument is that he told me that there would be a slight possibility that he would have to change his plans. Excuse me, but the last time I checked, changing plans didn’t mean canceling altogether, but, whatever – that’s fine. So, he asked if he could come next week (which is this Saturday) and I said no because I already have plans. He asked for the Saturday after that, and I said no because it’s my birthday weekend and I really didn’t want to deal with his shit during my birthday weekend. He asked for the Saturday after that, and I said it was Jenn’s birthday (and the Super Bowl) and I would be driving her around as she gets hammered and stuff. The following weekend is Rob’s birthday, the weekend after that is Kaitlin’s birthday, the weekend after that is Arthur’s birthday, and the weekend after that is J.T.’s birthday. So, I’ve got shit to do. Well, then he asked for Martin Luther King Jr. day, and I work, and he asked for Wednesday (yesterday), and I work – so it really wasn’t going to work that he get his way about when he could come and get his stuff. So, then he had the nerve to ask about that night. Yeah, at 11:30 at night, he wanted to leave Ames, Iowa and drive down to Omaha where he expected me to either be awake or be allowed to wake me up from sleeping so he could get his stuff. I said two things: HELL NO. Then he asked for Saturday night – late. I said I had plans. So, he says, “I’m only asking you for two minutes of your time.” I said, “Look, Kory, I would have given you an entire afternoon, but you want to change the plan.” He said, “How can you have plans and be willing to have given me an entire afternoon.” To which I replied, “When you called to cancel, you don’t really think that I waited for you to change your mind, did you? I’m not waiting at home for you, I called my friends up and we made plans for tomorrow night.” He said, “Well, will you be home later tomorrow night?” I said, “No. I don’t even know if I’m coming home tomorrow night.”
He said that he was trying to make it work out and that I was being difficult, and I said that he wasn’t. I asked him how much he wanted his stuff and I asked him how long it had been since we had broken up. He said that I’d never complained about his stuff being at my place before. And he’s right. I hadn’t. But the point is: don’t say you’re going to do something and then, when it’s not convenient for you, change the plan. I said to him, “Look, we had plans. You need to change them, and that’s fine, but this is the consequence of changing your part of the deal.” So, he’s all pissed off at me by now and starts to talk to me like I’m a kid, so I say, “Do you realize how you’re talking to me? What makes you think that you can talk to me like that? I’ve been doing you a favor by holding on to you crap and not chucking it – which – I should have done when I moved. The last time I checked, it didn’t say STORE-ALL at the entrance to my apartment building. And if it did say that, I’d charge your ass for storage space.” He said, “Can you just do me one more favor?” I said, “Kory – are you serious?” He said, “Fine. You know what? Just throw it all away.” I said, “Fine. Only, I wish you would have said that from the beginning – like when I moved – so that I wouldn’t have packed the shit up and moved it with me. I could have started the New Year the way I wanted to, and you wouldn’t have had to deal with the trouble of inconveniencing yourself with getting your shit.”
Can you believe the nerve of him? You know, I always thought that I would be able to be mature enough at the end of a relationship and the parting would be amicable. But with him, man, I never thought I’d be glad to say that I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that anymore. I always thought that there would be some part of me that thought of him in the best of ways. But, now I see so much that I missed these last seven years. It’s sad to think that I’ve changed and grown from this experience and that he’s still this little boy who hasn’t grown at all.
When I told Rob and Ka`ai about this, Rob said, "See...it was never about getting his stuff from you. It was about seeing how you live and where you live and wanting to know if he could come down here and tap it." While the thought is revolting, I know that Rob's right. That's all it was about for him. Well, no chance of rekindling anything with me...that's for damn sure.
Anyway, that’s the other thing that happened in the last two weeks since I blogged. Let me know what you think? I’m eager to see what kind of changes I’ve made since the beginning of my blogging, and I think that this is one of them!
I’ve been broken up with him since last April but was his friend with benefit till July. We got into a huge blow out in July because I was moving, he was supposed to help, hurt himself on the job but still wanted to come to my apartment (can you guess for what?) When I told him not to, he wanted to know why, and I said it was because I wanted to move. What was he going to do? Watch me move stuff and pack stuff? No. So, huge blow out, didn’t talk for months. December rolls around, he said he’d maybe have a chance to come get his stuff, but maybe not. So, just let it roll of my back, right? Fine. January hits the calendar, and I call him to say, “When can you come and get your stuff?” - thinking that I’ve been holding on to it since July, right? (I even packed it up from my old apartment, moved to my new apartment and still had the shit in my house.) So, last week Monday he says, “Oh, I can get it this Saturday. I’ll be there at noon.” Okay. Fine. Wednesday rolls around and I get another phone call and message: “I have to push back the time till about 5pm. I have this church thing that I want to be part of.” Okay, fine…the plan is that he’s still coming down to get his crap and I’ll still get the closure I want so badly. Friday night at 6pm, he calls to say that he’s canceling the entire thing. So I call back and leave a message: Call me. We have to talk.
He calls me back when I’m at Rob and Ka`ai’s so I’m not going to talk to him when I’m with them. So I don’t pick up. He calls again, when it’s about 11pm and I’m just getting home. He says, “What’s up?” I say, “You tell me.” He says, “You said to give you a call.” I say, “Yeah, why are you canceling?” Thinking that, maybe, he’s got to work or some bullshit like that. He says, “My friends are having a birthday party on Saturday and I gave them my word that I’d be there.” WHAT? YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! So I say, “Oh, you said you’d be there when you already told me that you were going to be here?” Sorry, did I just wake up in a parallel universe where you can be in two places at once? Yeah. I didn’t think so. So, we get into a fight where his biggest argument is that he told me that there would be a slight possibility that he would have to change his plans. Excuse me, but the last time I checked, changing plans didn’t mean canceling altogether, but, whatever – that’s fine. So, he asked if he could come next week (which is this Saturday) and I said no because I already have plans. He asked for the Saturday after that, and I said no because it’s my birthday weekend and I really didn’t want to deal with his shit during my birthday weekend. He asked for the Saturday after that, and I said it was Jenn’s birthday (and the Super Bowl) and I would be driving her around as she gets hammered and stuff. The following weekend is Rob’s birthday, the weekend after that is Kaitlin’s birthday, the weekend after that is Arthur’s birthday, and the weekend after that is J.T.’s birthday. So, I’ve got shit to do. Well, then he asked for Martin Luther King Jr. day, and I work, and he asked for Wednesday (yesterday), and I work – so it really wasn’t going to work that he get his way about when he could come and get his stuff. So, then he had the nerve to ask about that night. Yeah, at 11:30 at night, he wanted to leave Ames, Iowa and drive down to Omaha where he expected me to either be awake or be allowed to wake me up from sleeping so he could get his stuff. I said two things: HELL NO. Then he asked for Saturday night – late. I said I had plans. So, he says, “I’m only asking you for two minutes of your time.” I said, “Look, Kory, I would have given you an entire afternoon, but you want to change the plan.” He said, “How can you have plans and be willing to have given me an entire afternoon.” To which I replied, “When you called to cancel, you don’t really think that I waited for you to change your mind, did you? I’m not waiting at home for you, I called my friends up and we made plans for tomorrow night.” He said, “Well, will you be home later tomorrow night?” I said, “No. I don’t even know if I’m coming home tomorrow night.”
He said that he was trying to make it work out and that I was being difficult, and I said that he wasn’t. I asked him how much he wanted his stuff and I asked him how long it had been since we had broken up. He said that I’d never complained about his stuff being at my place before. And he’s right. I hadn’t. But the point is: don’t say you’re going to do something and then, when it’s not convenient for you, change the plan. I said to him, “Look, we had plans. You need to change them, and that’s fine, but this is the consequence of changing your part of the deal.” So, he’s all pissed off at me by now and starts to talk to me like I’m a kid, so I say, “Do you realize how you’re talking to me? What makes you think that you can talk to me like that? I’ve been doing you a favor by holding on to you crap and not chucking it – which – I should have done when I moved. The last time I checked, it didn’t say STORE-ALL at the entrance to my apartment building. And if it did say that, I’d charge your ass for storage space.” He said, “Can you just do me one more favor?” I said, “Kory – are you serious?” He said, “Fine. You know what? Just throw it all away.” I said, “Fine. Only, I wish you would have said that from the beginning – like when I moved – so that I wouldn’t have packed the shit up and moved it with me. I could have started the New Year the way I wanted to, and you wouldn’t have had to deal with the trouble of inconveniencing yourself with getting your shit.”
Can you believe the nerve of him? You know, I always thought that I would be able to be mature enough at the end of a relationship and the parting would be amicable. But with him, man, I never thought I’d be glad to say that I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that anymore. I always thought that there would be some part of me that thought of him in the best of ways. But, now I see so much that I missed these last seven years. It’s sad to think that I’ve changed and grown from this experience and that he’s still this little boy who hasn’t grown at all.
When I told Rob and Ka`ai about this, Rob said, "See...it was never about getting his stuff from you. It was about seeing how you live and where you live and wanting to know if he could come down here and tap it." While the thought is revolting, I know that Rob's right. That's all it was about for him. Well, no chance of rekindling anything with me...that's for damn sure.
Anyway, that’s the other thing that happened in the last two weeks since I blogged. Let me know what you think? I’m eager to see what kind of changes I’ve made since the beginning of my blogging, and I think that this is one of them!
posted by makagirl | 9:14 AM
1 Comments:
Change is a fucked up thing. It occurs when you don't really expect it or necessarily want it, but is inevitable. I would say that makes it a funny thing, but there's usually not too much laughing involved unless mass quantaties of alcohol are present (well, at least in my case). I'm happy that you finally have the closure you want and have gotten to that point in a manner that's neither self destructive or otherwise hurtful. In the end, all of this is insignificant and shit, there's no point in getting all pissed off over things you can't change anyway right?
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