Randomness

I was talking on the phone to my Break-Up Buddy last night, and we were sharing stories. She had a really good time with her bud from DC, and it was awesome. I cannot begin to say how happy I am that she's happy. Have you ever had that feeling? Even when your own world is crazy and confusing and it doesn't seem to make any kind of sense whatsoever, you have someone close to you relate a story that makes you feel happy. People say that happiness comes and goes like it's a thing that is expendable, but I think it's more like a virus...it gets you when you least expect it, and it spreads to those around you. I mean, we were on the phone, and she was telling her story, and I was listening to it, and I was just overcome with happiness for her.

In any case, the reason that I write is because I think I'm finally getting over Kory. I see his shortcomings for what they are and without making any kind of excuses for him. I realize that some of the things he's said to me or done to me wouldn't have been said or done by someone who truly cares for another person. When it comes down to it all, I deserve more. I deserve everything that I've ever wanted in a relationship.

My thoughts are automatically drawn to Arthur who, unfortunately, isn't in the office today. What a bummer! I was hoping to get my last fix before I leave for vacation in California. Anyway, it's kind of nice to be crushing on someone other than Kory. There's a kind of relief that's come over me, and I can't explain it. It's nice to know that I can get "excited" about the prospect of others when, it seems only days ago, I wasn't sure if I could go on at all.

I even talked to my sister last night and that was good. I miss her terribly, and I hope she knows how much I wish for her happiness. She gave some great advice last night, and while I'm worried about the whole Arthur thing, she says to me, "Umm, yeah, so you like him, but that doesn't mean anything. I hate to break it to you, but in order for anything to happen, the feelings have to be reciprocated." Isn't she great? She brought home to me that this could very well be one-sided. Then, she went on to tell me that she had liked this guy but brushed it off because (as I argue about Arthur) he could never feel that way about her. It turns out that he did feel that way but thought the same thing, so nothing ever came of their emotions for each other. I told her that it was a great story and that I didn't have the balls to say anything let alone do anything.

In any case, I'm happier than I have been in months, and I think it's because I've finally found that I can move on and that Kory isn't the last man that I'll ever love. (Not that I love Arthur, just that he's not Kory.) Anyway, that's all for now. Write me if you've got stuff to say, and to my sister - Yeah, you can swear if you like...