Before I Go...
One thought - maybe more:
While I love Kory to pieces, I don't think I could be with him. I mean, after last night's conversation and what he said to me, it made me really think about how he would say stupid things like that and it would hurt my feelings (as it had last night) and still, I would stick around. How pathetic is that? And while I think this (and type it) it doesn't make it any easier that I feel that there will be nothing and no one better than him.
Why is that? Why is it that the person that you had planned to spend the rest of your life with, who doesn't want you, can hurt you and still, you'd take him back? I mean, I have self-confidence. I have it as no one else does. But when it comes to guys and to the possibility of finding a happiness and passion as I had with Kory, I am the least confident individual you'll find. During our relationship, I would always say, "Yeah, I'm sure I could find someone else if I had to." Kory brought that up once...so, yeah, now that I have to find someone else, there's no one else who comes close - let alone surpasses what I believe I had in my past.
I would ask for more self-confidence. I would ask for help in rebuilding myself. Most of all, I would ask for a second chance at all those years that were good, bad, ugly, or otherwise. Because while there were great times, and all I can remember is the good times, I feel like it's time wasted. I mean, when I meet my soulmate and begin sharing my life with him (assuming that's even still a possibility) how stupid am I going to feel for the wasted 7 years of my life that I spent with Kory?
Comment - if you like. I'd like any kind of help and answers that the outside world has to offer.
Always looking for answers - Maka :)
While I love Kory to pieces, I don't think I could be with him. I mean, after last night's conversation and what he said to me, it made me really think about how he would say stupid things like that and it would hurt my feelings (as it had last night) and still, I would stick around. How pathetic is that? And while I think this (and type it) it doesn't make it any easier that I feel that there will be nothing and no one better than him.
Why is that? Why is it that the person that you had planned to spend the rest of your life with, who doesn't want you, can hurt you and still, you'd take him back? I mean, I have self-confidence. I have it as no one else does. But when it comes to guys and to the possibility of finding a happiness and passion as I had with Kory, I am the least confident individual you'll find. During our relationship, I would always say, "Yeah, I'm sure I could find someone else if I had to." Kory brought that up once...so, yeah, now that I have to find someone else, there's no one else who comes close - let alone surpasses what I believe I had in my past.
I would ask for more self-confidence. I would ask for help in rebuilding myself. Most of all, I would ask for a second chance at all those years that were good, bad, ugly, or otherwise. Because while there were great times, and all I can remember is the good times, I feel like it's time wasted. I mean, when I meet my soulmate and begin sharing my life with him (assuming that's even still a possibility) how stupid am I going to feel for the wasted 7 years of my life that I spent with Kory?
Comment - if you like. I'd like any kind of help and answers that the outside world has to offer.
Always looking for answers - Maka :)
posted by makagirl | 5:17 PM
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